Concrete Angel
by irJustineee
Summary: Dan moves to Manchester with his Mum where he meets his neighbour and future best friend, Phil. Little does he know that Phil could be the one that changes everything.
1. Chapter 1

"Daniel, we're here." I heard a soft voice speak.

"Huh?" I awoke from my sleep and rubbed my eyes. I felt so groggy.

"We've arrived at our new house! It's so beautiful, don't you think?" Mum's face was full of joy.

Oh right, yeah, that.

I sighed. "It's okay I guess."

My Mum was so enthusiastic about moving, though I didn't blame her. Our old home in Cardiff was full of bad memories for the both of us. I never liked the thought of moving because I'd sort of gotten to know Cardiff and made a few friends but now it's back to square one.

"Cheer up sweetie, we can leave all the bad memories behind and start over." She kissed my forehead and began to take boxes from the car to the front door.

Although I didn't want to accept it, she was right. I needed to stop being so negative about the whole thing, maybe things would be a lot better here.

I'd unpacked most of my things by late evening. I took a longer look at my new room. It was bigger than my old room and it faced out of the front of the house. I liked the view from my window; the sky was a beautiful shade of orange. I loved watching the sunset, I'm not sure why I found it so intriguing, I just really enjoyed the sight of it. After gazing out the window for a while I turned back towards the last few boxes and sighed. I would unpack them tomorrow, for now I had the things I needed the most like my phone, my laptop and my camera. I logged into Twitter and checked my mentions. I replied to a few tweets then logged into Tumblr where I spent most the night on.

I woke up in the morning covered in sweat. The nightmare was over, thank fuck. I hated nightmares because they were always related to my day to day life and that's what made them unforgettable. I quickly ran a shower then headed downstairs to see if Mum had unpacked any of the cereal boxes considering she prefers to eat toast. I spotted the box of Cookie Crisp on the bottom shelf of the cupboard and poured myself a bowl. The house was dead silent; there was no noise to be heard apart from the birds chirping every now and again.

"Mum?" I called up the stairs after finishing my cereal.

No answer. I walked up to her room to find the bed made and her presence absent. Maybe she'd gone to the shops or something, she'd be back soon.

I headed to my room and got changed into my favourite Muse t-shirt and my black skinnies. Skinnies were pretty much all I lived in, they were so comfy, although I must admit my joggers are the most comfy piece of clothing I've ever bought. I was about to blast my music out when all of a sudden I heard a stranger's voice talking downstairs followed by my Mum's. I opened the door slightly and attempted to eavesdrop on what the stranger was talking about.

"So you only just moved here yesterday?" the stranger had a polite, reserved tone.

"Yeah, I moved here with my son Daniel. He's most likely in his bedroom. Daniel?" My Mum called.

"You have a son? Phil you should go up and say hi, introduce yourself."

I heard a shuffle and moved back from the door, checked my room to see if it was decent enough for someone else to see and placed myself on my bed, looking up at the ceiling pretending to look as natural as possible.

I heard a slight knock on the door. "Yeah?"

"Hey, um…" I turned towards the door to see a skinny, black haired boy standing by the doorframe. I smiled.

"You're Phil, right?"

He nervously smiled back. "Yeah, I live across the road. My Mum saw yours this morning and dragged me over to say hello."

The word dragged went straight through me like a dagger. He didn't want to be here, he was forced to come over. As soon as his Mum was gone he wouldn't say another word to me.

"Don't look so worried, I don't bite you know." Phil's voice pulled me back into reality and I shook my head slightly.

"If you don't want to be here you can go if you want." I sighed.

Phil laughed. "I'm sorry if I don't come across as the welcoming type. I get nervous when I meet new people but you don't look as if you're going to mug me the minute I leave so it's cool."

Wait, was he being serious? I studied his facial expression and came to the conclusion that he was definitely serious. This came as a shock to me as nobody ever wanted to talk to me in Cardiff. I was the outcast, the one who never fit in, the weirdo.

I laughed to break the silence and pointed towards my games console. "Do you play?"

"Of course! Let me see what games you have, hm." He carefully placed each case on top of one another when he'd had a look at the game title and eventually settled on Sonic.

"You like Sonic too?" Phil looked back towards me.

"Yeah, the game's pretty cool actually."

"Me too! Okay, we're playing this." Phil threw one of the controllers at me and I patted the space next to me on the bed.

We played on Sonic for a few hours until Phil gave in.

"I give up!" He threw his arms in the air. "I just can't get past this level!"

"How can you not get past the level, it's so easy! Look I'll do it for you-" I went to grab the controller from his hands.

"No! I want to do it!" He snatched it away just as I was about to make contact with it.

"But we'll be stuck here for days if you can't get past, let me do it!" I laughed. I really wanted to show him how to do it but I discovered he was stubborn. If he wanted to do it there was no persuading him.

"I'll kick you off the bed if you don't pass me the controller!" I pretended to be serious.

"You wouldn't do tha-" I aimed my feet for his hip and using all the energy I had, pushed him off the bed onto the floor. I went over to where he was just sitting and peered down at him.

"I totally wouldn't do that now, would I?" I smiled and raised my eyebrows at him.

"I hate you." He laughed.

There was a few seconds silence as he got up off the floor and just after those seconds had passed, Phil's Mum called up telling him that she was going.

Phil looked over with a partially sad face. "That was fun, we should definitely do this again sometime." He smiled.

"Sure. Next time my room should hopefully be all set up without any boxes in sight." I followed Phil to the door and just before we head downstairs he handed me a piece of paper.

I unfolded it to see a number scrawled down on it. "That's my number for when you wanna hang out next."

"Thanks." I looked back up at him and I swear time just stood still. I'd never taken in how pretty his eyes were. Light blue, they reminded me of when my Mum used to take me to the park in the summer. I'd look up and there were no clouds about and all you could see for miles was bright blue sky.

Phil coughed and turned to walk downstairs. I grabbed his wrist instinctively.

"Thanks for today, it beat my average day of just lounging around on the internet."

"It's alright, I enjoyed the company actually." He smiled once again and headed downstairs, put his shoes on, waved up to me and then followed his Mum out the door. I closed my bedroom door behind me and smiled.

For the first time in years, I actually felt a slight bit of happiness.


	2. Chapter 2

I walked over to the window and watched Phil as he left my house and crossed the road to his. Just before he shut the door he caught sight of me at my window and waved. I waved back and looked down to my left hand that was still clutching the piece of paper as if it were my only lifeline. I would definitely be hanging around with him again. When we were playing Sonic I forgot about everything that haunted me day in, day out. It was almost like someone from above had sent me a ray of happiness in the form of a human being.

_No Daniel, stop. You're getting way ahead of yourself. You're being too positive for your own good. You're overthinking things, Phil isn't a ray of light, he's just a guy who lives across the street who had to be dragged over. He didn't come over on his own accord._

I put my hands over my ears and shook my head. Distraction, I needed a distraction. My stomach growled and I took the hint. I half ran down the stairs and was welcomed with the familiar smell of bacon. Yum. As soon as Mum noticed me she passed me two plates to set down on the dinner table. They each had two rashers of bacon, a cooked egg, a small portion of beans and a grilled tomato. She then passed me a plate of sliced bread to place on the middle of the table. I sat down and began to eat. It wasn't long before Mum joined.

"Phil seems nice."

"Yeah, he is." I nodded.

"I was talking to his Mum about the new shopping centre…" This was my cue to zone out. Mum, I don't want to talk about shopping or fashion. Sometimes I wish my sister still lived at home so that I didn't get all the chitchat about the latest gossip. And then I heard the five words that should never be said in the same sentence.

Mum, Phil's Mum, Phil, me, shopping.

Don't get me wrong, I don't mind going shopping but with my Mum? I'd rather not. She always embarrasses me without fail.

"I don't want to go-"

"I'll give you some money and you and Phil can go shopping yourselves."

"Um... okay."

I did need some new clothes and on a brighter note I'd get to spend more time getting to know Phil.

"We're not going until Saturday morning though."

I nodded, zoning out into my own world again. I cleared the table of dirty plates into the dishwasher then headed back upstairs to my room. I walked over to my desk and saw the familiar looking piece of paper. I pulled my iPhone out of my pocket and began to type a message out.

_"Hey, it's Dan. I really enjoyed today. It's nice to have some company actually."_

Does that sound too cheesy or too forward? Whatever, I've pressed send now so it's too late to change anything. I sat down on my bed and the next few minutes seemed to go on forever. My phone buzzed.

_"Hey :) I really enjoyed today too. What are you doing tomorrow? I thought maybe you could hang out at my place since I've been round yours."_

_"Nothing really. That'd be cool. See you tomorrow."_

I threw the top half of my body backwards and stared up at the ceiling. Maybe things would start to get better now.

I woke up the next morning to my phone buzzing.

_3 new messages._

I put my passcode in and checked them. It was from an unknown number.

_"We know your darkest secret. Just wait until everyone finds out."_

_"Not that you're here to defend your pathetic self."_

_"Everyone cheered when you left. Did you know that? Noone cares about you Daniel. Noone."_

The last line of the 3rd text message circled my brain causing the voices to pipe up.

_Noone cares about you Daniel. Noone. They don't care. I bet Phil doesn't care either. You're a waste of time. Waste of a life. A waste to society. Who would like a guy like you? All messed up in the head, clutching on to the past, not being able to let go? Who? Face it, you're worthless._

I felt a tear roll down my cheek. I threw my phone across the room, not caring where it went, and wiped the tear away. I sat up and checked the clock. 10:30am.

I grabbed my towel, my skinny jeans, a fresh t-shirt, fresh underwear and proceeded to have a shower. I took a while in the shower; I needed it to clear my head and to filter the voices out. By the time I got out it was almost 11am.

I went downstairs, poured myself a bowl of cereal and looked out the front window noticing Mum's car wasn't there. She's probably gone to the supermarket or something.

Once I'd finished my cereal and washed the pots I headed back upstairs to collect my phone and my jacket. I didn't bother checking my phone, I just wanted to go to Phil's and forget everything.

****** Phil's POV ******

I was sat in my room debating what t-shirt to wear when I heard a faint knock at the door. Screw it, I'll wear my Muse t-shirt. I slung it over my head and quickly ran down the stairs to the door. Hopefully it'll be the postman and hopefully he'll have the new Zelda game I ordered last Friday. The door doesn't have a glass window in it so for all I know it could be anyone but the postman. I unlocked the door and opened it slightly to confirm who was on the other side.

Dan.

I smiled at him and opened the door fully. "Come on in, do you want something to drink?"

He smiled back, walked inside and nodded. "Sure."

"What would you like?" I opened the fridge. "We have juice, fizzy pop or a hot drink."

"Juice is fine by me."

I got two glasses out of the cupboard and poured us both a glass of Vimto. I lead Dan upstairs with the glasses to my bedroom. I placed them down on the bedside table and turned to face Dan.

"Sorry if it's a bit messy, I haven't had chance to tidy up."

"It's fine, mine is just as messy." Dan laughed a little and hung his jacket up on the back of my door. I turned the Wii on and threw a guitar at Dan.

"Have you ever played Guitar Hero before?"

"I've heard of it but I've never played on it before. Is it good?"

"It's amazing!" I grabbed the other guitar and slung myself on one side of the bed. Dan sat down on the other side and crossed his legs.

"I'm going to have to turn this upside down I think." He sighed. "Why does the world discriminate against us left handed people?"

"Maybe it's because you're special." I laughed and received a shove.

We began to play and surprisingly, for a left handed Guitar Hero virgin, Dan was pretty good. He won the first round then I beat him the second which he wasn't so joyful about. The third round was a close call but I managed to thrash Dan at it.

Dan threw the guitar down in a playful yet sulky way.

"Now, now. There's no need to be a sore loser!" I joked.

Dan's mouth turned into an 'O' shape and he climbed on top of my legs.

"You are so going to pay for that!" He giggled and attempted to tickle my sides.

I tried to use my hands to grab his but he was too quick and kept managing to tickle me. I squirmed underneath him; I hated being tickled but I couldn't get out of this one easily considering Dan was literally sitting on my legs. For the split second that he was off guard I'd managed to clasp his hands with my own, stopping him from tickling me further. I looked up at him, smirked and raised my eyebrows.

I felt the tension build up as we continued to stare into each other's eyes.

And that's when he pressed his lips against mine.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thankyou for the reviews! I appreciate every single one of them. I'm sorry I've not uploaded for ages, writer's block got me badly on this chapter. Also it's not as long as the previous two chapters, simply for the reason that the ending sentence felt right to draw the line on this chapter.**

**Please don't kill me, I hope this doesn't break your heart too much. **

**xo**

I instinctively wrapped my arms around Dan's neck signalling him to carry on. I flipped us over as the kiss deepened and Dan placed his hands on either side of my cheeks. Everything felt so wrong but so right at the same time.

****** Dan's POV ******

I broke away and looked down at Phil. That's when the thoughts came shouting and screaming at me.

_What are you doing? As if Phil would ever date a guy like you._

_He's probably just playing along for the sympathy vote._

_You've only known him for a day. You're worthless._

_You wreck everything. Everyone would be better off without you._

_Kill yourself; you'd solve everyone's problems._

"I…I need to go…" I stuttered.

Before Phil could even say anything I ran out of his room, down the stairs grabbing my shoes along the way and ran out of his house across the road to mine.

I slammed the door behind me and took a few seconds to get my breath back. What do I do? My demons are chasing me and I can't outrun them. The only thing that would keep them quiet for a while…

No, Daniel, stop. You know that won't solve anything.

It was almost like I was the bystander of the argument between the good and bad side of my conscience.

I needed to release everything. Everything was overwhelming and it felt like someone was pushing me to the edge. I wanted the voices to stop. I can't let them drive me crazy and cause me to have a meltdown like last time.

Before I knew what I was doing, I'd made my way over to the knife pot in the kitchen. I needed this. I deserved it.

The stinging sensation rippled through my body and I breathed out heavily. I looked down at the criss-crossing patterns of blood emerging through the opening of each cut. It felt like a weight was lifted from my shoulders.

I heard the door close and quickly shifted my eyes to the window. Mum's car wasn't on the drive so it wasn't her.

Shit.

No, he can't see me like this. No, no, no.

"Dan?" His voice was filled with concern.

Why didn't I lock the door? What a fucking idiot.

I placed the knife down in the sink and backed myself into the corner of the kitchen unit slowly dropping to the floor, hoping that Phil wouldn't check the kitchen.

I heard his footsteps get closer and I squeezed my eyes shut. This wasn't happening.

"Dan, I know you're here."

My whole body was trembling. There was nothing I could do. I wanted a black hole to swallow me up right now.

I watched as his face appeared from round the corner unit and dropped down to where I was hiding. His facial expression went from a progressing smile of relief rapidly to a very concerned one.

He rummaged around the cupboards eventually stumbling upon the First Aid kit.

"Phil…I…" My voice was weak and shaky.

Phil put his finger to my lips and concentrated on cleaning and bandaging my cuts. After he'd done that, he cleaned everything so there was no sign of blood around. Without saying anything, he scooped me off the floor and carried me upstairs to my room. He placed me down on the bed, sat down beside me and held me in a tight embrace, being careful not to make contact with my wounds. We sat there for a while and it made me feel a lot better than before. Phil cares. He really does.

"I'm not going to force you to tell me what caused you to do this to yourself but just know that you can talk to me about anything. I won't ever judge you, I promise." He pressed his lips to my forehead.

I was lost for words. I didn't know what to say and if I did, I wouldn't want to ruin the peaceful silence. It wasn't awkward at all.

We lay back onto the bed and Phil cradled me in his arms, holding me like he never wanted to let me go. Truth be told, I felt safe in his arms.

I let my emotions go and laid there sobbing into Phil's chest. He didn't ask any questions, he just let me cry until I had nothing left inside. I took his hand in mine and closed my eyes.

Maybe tonight I would get a full night's sleep without any nightmares.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I wanted to clear up the title name of this fic incase there was anyone wondering why I'd named it 'Concrete Angel'. I named it after the song by Gareth Emery ft Christina Novell. The song and the lyrics are relevant to me and that's why I created this fic, to pour my own emotions out into. If you've not heard the song before, just listen to it once or look up the lyrics and it'll maybe give you some insight to this story or how the characters feel. **

**Also be prepared, there's a lot of emotion in this chapter.**

I woke up in Phil's arms, my head against his chest, hands still entwined.

"How're you feeling?" Phil yawned.

"A little better than yesterday, I think. I'm sorry you had to see me like that." I sighed.

"Do you want to talk about it? Maybe it'll help, though I'm not a qualified therapist so I wouldn't take my advice." He smiled.

His smile was the best smile I'd ever seen, it caused butterflies that I hadn't felt in a very long time.

"I don't really know how." I thought back to yesterday, everything was fine up until I took it upon myself to kiss Phil.

Why did I do it? I don't know. I guess you could say it was an impulse that I instantly acted on without even thinking about it. I liked Phil, of course I did. He was such a sweet, caring person that would never hurt a fly. But how do you tell if you've really got feelings for someone or if it's just something that will fade away after a short amount of time? How do you trust someone with that deep amount of emotion that you've known for a few days? How do you trust anyone, knowing that so much pain could rush through your vulnerability?

The silence dragged on and after it seemed like I wasn't going to say anything after all, Phil looked at me with an understanding look. "It's okay, you don't have to tell me anything until you're ready."

I nodded. "I…I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. You've got nothing to apologise for."

It had been just over a week since then and I was still lost in my own thoughts. The shopping trip helped a tiny bit but the energy was fading from me, any interests that I had were disappearing too. I was starting to become distant from my Mum and Phil as well, and I didn't like it. To some extent I couldn't control it. I'd lie on my bed in my room and stare at the ceiling for hours on end, not bothering to check my phone or respond to Mum calling my name. Even Phil couldn't breakthrough this concrete wall as much as he was trying.

******Phil's POV******

Everything involving Dan had turned for the worst. He'd put up a guard, and a strong one at that. I felt like I was the cause of what was happening to him; for ever stepping foot into his life, for inviting him over that lead to the kiss, but I couldn't afford to think like that. I needed to break through Dan's guard and take him away from the darkness inside before it was too late.

I'd once been in the place Dan was now, believe it or not. I hated everyone and everything. I wanted nothing to do with life; I didn't want to be alive. I blamed myself for everything that went wrong and I spiralled out of control. I was living in a paradox, obsessed with being surrounded by this sense of safety in the darkness but realising how sadistic and alone I was when a bit of reality seeped in. I became lost in my own mind, lost in my own demons and it was extremely hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I didn't think I'd ever make it out because each time I tried to climb out of the darkness, I was the one that pushed myself back in again. One day, I don't know how, I managed to fully climb up to the top and defeat the demon version of myself waiting there. It was a struggle that lasted for months but I made it. I fought off my demons. I didn't want what happened to me to happen to Dan. I didn't want him to suffer for years in misery slowly getting sucked in by the darkness. I know he has the strength to pull himself out and I will be there every step of the way, no matter how much he tries to push me away.

I will be there because noone was there to help me.


	5. Chapter 5

I visited Dan's every day to see how he was doing, but there was nothing new. If his Mum called, he barely ever replied. He'd stopped eating too. I would go upstairs, try and get a conversation out of him, persuade him to eat something but he didn't seem to even notice that I was there. I had to hold back my tears because it was really tragic to see a once joyful person crumble beneath my eyes and there was barely anything I could do about it. When I went through something similar, in the end I realised that only I could save myself and Dan needed to realise that before any hope was gone completely.

"Dan, if you carry on like this you'll end up in hospital and I know you don't like hospitals."

After a few seconds, Dan turned to look at me but nothing was ever said.

"I know you can hear me. Look," I walked over to him and placed my hand on his, "please don't shut yourself off. Whatever is going through your head, I know you can get through it. I know you can." I kissed his forehead, left the room and went downstairs.

"Did you manage to get anything out of him?" Dan's Mum sighed.

"He looked at me but he never said anything."

"I don't know what's wrong with him. I wish he'd go back to being his usual self." She let out a sob escape and that's when her guard failed her, letting her emotions flow out. It sort of pained me to see her crying, I'd never seen any parent cry before, not like this. It triggered an underlying spurt of anger and before I knew it I was running up the stairs to Dan's room.

"Dan if you don't get yourself out of this bed right now I will drag you out myself." My tone was harsher than I expected.

It took a few seconds but very slowly Dan began to move his body towards the side of the bed sheets. He hadn't made any eye contact with me as of yet, he was still looking down at the ground whilst moving himself.

I walked over to Dan and helped him up, guiding him to the door.

"Dan, fucking listen. Your Mum is sobbing her heart out because she can't figure out why you're acting the way you are." I watched as Dan listened out of the crack of the door. I was taken back a little bit by this, not expecting Dan to listen at all or register the words being said to him. I turned Dan to face me and sighed.

"I know what you're feeling. Maybe not exactly the same but very similar. You know, I was once in this state too."

Dan looked up towards me for the first time in a long while, there was a still a sombre look about him but at least words were registering. How well they were was unknown. It made me happier that he'd let down his guard a slight bit.

"I don't want what happened to me to happen to you. It almost killed me and I couldn't bear to live without you, Daniel Howell. I don't care how messed up you think you are, you will always be perfect to me. I know it's hard to think right now but if I made it through I know you can."

"But...what about the urges?" Dan's voice was shaky. A gasp escaped me. I'd missed his voice so much.

I thought about what I was going to do. Was I ready to expose my darkest secret? If it helped Dan understand and give him a glimpse of hope, it was worth it.

I pulled both of my sleeves up to reveal scars crossing over another on each forearm. "I understand Dan, I do."

However, his response was not one I was expecting. "Only attention seekers do that. You don't really care about me Phil, nobody does. Not even _me_." The tone in his voice was spiteful, the darkness had returned to his eyes and his stare was stone cold. The sparkle that was there just a few seconds ago was gone.

_Attention seekers_. He did not just say that.

"WAKE UP DAN AND LISTEN TO WHAT YOU'RE SAYING!" My hand swung back, formed a fist and smashed into the side of Dan's face knocking him to the floor. I ran out of the bedroom, down the stairs and out of the front door across to my house. I threw myself on my bed and put my hands to my head. That was not meant to happen. The desperation was really getting to me and I needed to find a way to calm it down, but how could I when the boy I love is falling apart right in front of me?

****** Dan's POV *******

I got up off the floor, the left side of my face aching a lot. Did Phil really just punch me? What did I say? The last thing I remember is him telling me that he couldn't live without me and I asked him about the self-harming urges, the next I'm on the floor in pain. I dragged myself back over to my bed and under the covers once again. My eyes began to shut. I'll ask him about it tomorrow.

Every day seemed silent besides my Mum visiting my room. Her sobbing had made me feel so guilty but I still felt more alone than ever. There was no presence in my room either, which I was getting used to. Phil hadn't been round in a week and I didn't know why. Did I push him away? Has he done something to himself? That's when it all came flashing back to me. Shit. Phil had shown me his scars and even though I still couldn't remember what I'd said, it must have been something horrible for him to lash out at me. Phil can't hurt himself over me, I can't let that happen. I jumped out of bed, trying to ignore the woozy feeling that had just hit me suddenly. I tried to take it slowly down the stairs but ended up running down the last half straight into the living room. Mum turned around and looked completely baffled by what she'd just witnessed.

"Dan? I.."

"Mum I've made a huge mistake. I said something horrible to Phil and I didn't realise and…" I was running out of breath fast, tears beginning to form at the corners of my eyes.

"I wondered why Phil hadn't come round for a while. Maybe you should go talk to him? How about having something to eat first though?"

"No," I shook my head, "I need to make sure he's okay now." I walked out of the room shaking my head and slipped my feet into my shoes. I jogged over to Phil's house and banged on the front door. No answer.

"PHIL?" I shouted, banging on the door a bit more. I took my phone out of my pocket and called Phil's phone. Also no answer. Panic started to settle in and I tried to think what to do.

Spare house key! I didn't know if Phil had got one covered up somewhere but it was worth a try. There wasn't anything under the door mat or near the surrounding bricks that were lying around. My last chance was the plant pot. I dug my hand in searching for a key and heard something clink. Bingo. I pulled the key out of the pot and unlocked the door.

"Phil?!" Still no answer.

I searched through every room downstairs and found nothing. Phil, where the fuck are you? I ran upstairs and checked the bathroom, nothing. Spare bedroom, nothing. Phil's bedroom door was the last I came across and it was closed. I gulped and prepared myself for the worst. I went to put my hand on the door handle and hesitated. Was I ready for whatever was about to be discovered? Before I knew it, the door handle went down by itself and I looked up to see Phil in just a towel wrapped around his lower half.

My emotions went into overload and I pushed him up against the wall, crushing my lips against his. I pulled his body as close as I could to mine and wrapped my hands around his neck and lower back. I poured as much emotion as I could into the kiss. Phil eventually responded and I took us over to his bed without breaking contact. I deepened the kiss as Phil gave me permission to enter. Our tongues collided and explored each other's mouth, the feeling was sensational and I couldn't get enough of it. Phil flipped us over so he was on top but broke the kiss.

"I.." I pressed my fingers to his lips and opened my own.

"I love you Phil Lester. I love you so much."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I'm so sorry that it's taken so long for this next chapter to have been uploaded and for it to only be a short one too. I promise the chapters will be longer soon. My laptop was sent away to be wiped and sorted out therefore I had no access to my document with this on :(**

**Anyway, here is the much awaited chapter. Pls don't hate me. Comments/criticism would be really appreciated, thankyou ^_^ xo**

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to say the same thing to you. Daniel Howell, I love you." Phil pecked my lips once more and sat up slightly. "I'm gonna quickly nip in the shower and then I'm making you some dinner."

"But…" Phil pressed a finger to my lips.

"No buts. You're not eating and I know it so don't try and fool me. I want to help you and that's exactly what I'm going to do."

I pouted. "I'm not hungry."

Phil got up off the bed and shot me a stern look. "You're going to eat whether you're hungry or not. You may be able to get away with it at home but not here. I'm not a pushover Dan, so don't try." He kissed my forehead and went into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

I understood that he was trying to help but I didn't think he'd be so forceful about it. Though it was better than being in a hospital with a drip attached to my arm or in a treatment centre. I hated hospitals.

Although I'd somehow managed to snap myself out of a trance that felt almost impossible to get out of, I still couldn't suppress the voices as much as I tried.

_Kill yourself. _

_Phil deserves better than you._

I got my phone out of my pocket in an attempt to distract my conscience, however I'd completely forgotten about the last time I used my phone.

"_We know your darkest secret. Just wait until everyone finds out."_

"_Not that you're here to defend your pathetic self."_

"_Everyone cheered when you left. Did you know that? Noone cares about you Daniel. Noone."_

I stared at the multiple texts for a while in a slight daze. I locked my screen and chucked my phone on Phil's desk. Phil loves me and that's all I need right now.

I had hoped for a peaceful night's sleep as the past few weeks had been restless, but this wasn't the case. I was back in my home town and for as long as I was there, nothing would ever be peaceful. I'd just finished school, hoping that no one would bother me on the walk back to my home. As I kept on walking I sensed people behind me but I didn't turn around to see who it was, or rather, I didn't have time to because before I knew it I was running, running from whoever was chasing me. I stopped and turned around to find that nobody was there. Was I going crazy? The presence of someone else was still here and then out of nowhere, a group of people appeared. I walked backwards only to find out I'd cornered myself. Clever move, Dan. My pursuers had demonic smiles spread right across their faces and I instantly knew this wasn't going to end well. My defence was pretty shit too; they were bigger than me, I was certainly no match for them. One of the masked people came closer and shoved me against the wall, their mouth only inches away from mine.

"Your time has come to pay." He cackled. "You were never going to get away from this one." He whipped out a baseball bat and smashed it against the side of my legs. They gave way and with the support of the wall, I fell to the ground. The others surrounded me and began their beatings alongside the masked guy. My emotions were numb but I felt the wrath of every single blow. This wasn't the first time I'd been caught out on the way home; in fact I'd lost count. However this was different to the previous times as not long into the routine, they stopped. For a minute I asked myself if some guardian angel from above was looking down on me but I refused to believe so. A shadowed figure slowly made its way into my view and I froze in horror.

The figure resembled Phil but in a much darker way. His eyes were stone cold, his face tense and his features prominent. His dark, jet black hair matched his clothing also.

His smile was pure evil as he got closer to me and looked into my eyes. He could see the fear without a doubt. The people beside him closed in and one of them whispered in his ear.

"Oh yes. Of course." He breathed in deeply, millimetres away from my skin, taking in my scent. "You smell so wonderful, definitely for the occasion."

I couldn't speak. The words I wanted to say were lost. My tongue was tied.

"How could you even be out on the streets knowing what day it is? Hm?" Phil's left eyebrow rose.

"I….uh…."

"Save it. I don't want to hear your excuses."

That's when I felt the cold, metal object against my throat, digging in slightly.

"I want you to scream for me, Daniel. I want to hear the desperation in your voice." He whispered in my ear.

"No…please…I" I whimpered. This wasn't happening, I had to be dreaming, I had to be.

He dug the knife in ever so slowly at the edge of my neck.

"AGH PHIL… STOP, PLEASE!"

He wiped away the trickles of blood seeping through the wound with his thumb and dragged the weapon across just a few more inches.

"We'd get you eventually Dan. There was no denying it. You'd never be able to hide from us. Considering your payment is still overdue, we're going to take this nice and slow."

Truth be told, he was right. How could I think I'd ever be able to hide ever from their demands? There was no way I'd ever be able to get out of this because ultimately, the payment was my death.


End file.
